The Return of FURBY

I knew something was up when Hasbro re-released Furbies. As any 90s kid can tell you Furbies were creepy bird fluff-ball hybrids straight out of hell. The things would talk in "Furbish" or as I like to call it latin mixed with tongues. They also could sing and interact with their owner or other Furbies. All of that was fine albeit annoying, but the real downside to these little bastards was their tendency to operate even when they had no batteries in them. And try as you might to kill or break them they were resilient little balls of evil. These..things were the stuff of nightmares.
And now, now the world has doomed itself by remaking those pests. Oh but it gets so much better, along with giving them LED eyes that make them about 1000 times more creepy, they now come with a warning: Keep in mind your Furby will develop its own personality based on how you treat it. Genius Hasbro give children and preteens a demon bird thing that DEVELOPS ITS PERSONALITY BASED ON HOW THEY'RE TREATED..We were doomed before we even got a chance to save ourselves. The only upside is that thanks to your iphone if you own one, you can translate their furbish as they speak. Hopefully you translate fast enough before they manage to suck your soul from your body leaving you a shriveled husk.
Suck your soul you say? She must be crazy, off her rocker. It's just a toy harmless and albeit painfully colorful but harmless nonetheless. You can laugh and think I'm crazy all you want. In the end I know the truth, but maybe my little story will solidify my claim. Sit there and judge for yourself.
It all started when my sister asked for one for christmas, but she couldn't have just any Furby.  Oh no, she wanted the most exspensive and "special" one of them all: Twilight Furby.  What made it so special? I have no idea, but it sure as hell had a pretty price tag. None of that mattered to my parents though, what with Kailey being the baby of the family she got what she wished for. So come Christmas morning what sits under the Disney themed tree but Twilight Furby. Now my initial reaction was OH DEAR GOD NO. THE THING IS GOING TO KILL US ALL!!!!! But I shook that off and accustomed it to having a small PTSD moment from my own 90s Furby experience. All Furbies aside I continued to enjoy the holiday and my presents, as did Kailey. As our break progressed my sister and Twilight quickly became inseparable. If Kailey ate, Twilight had to have the same thing. If Kailey went shopping Twilight had to go too. Hell she even slept with the damned fur ball.
That was all fine and dandy albeit a tad creepy, but towards the end of christmas break my sister began changing. She was normally a very social person with tons of friends and the usual stupid pre teen drama. Within a few weeks she went from social butterfly to secretive hermit. She ignored her friends offers to hang out and go shopping, slept more than any healthy person should, not to mention she barely left her room. After watching her change I decided to see what was the problem. So one day I made my way up to the final floor of our house and was about to knock on her door when I heard voices. Now this would have been alright if it weren't for the fact that the only people home were my sister and I. With that I stupidly decided to crawl closer on my hands and knees toward a crack in the door. Through the little sliver I could see Kailey kneeling at the foot of her queen sized bed, while the damned Furby sat atop her purple bed spread clicking its little yellow jaws together while it rocked back and forth. Kit Kats, Snickers, Tasty Cakes and jewelry littered the little rat things feet. Finally it began to speak in the most terrifying voice I've heard come from a toy.

"Candy cakes and jewelry mean NOTHING to me. I demand true tribute! Bring me blood, flesh, SOULLLLLLLLLLSSSS...." My sister looked up to the little monster with a blank stare before responding
"But master....I don't know how to give you tri...." The Furby squawked cutting her off
"SILENCE! You moronic adolescent...bring me your guinea pig it should suffice for now" She nodded and walked over to Ashley's cage. The little rodent squeaked at Kailey excited to be picked up. She brought Ashley over to Twilight and dropped the poor animal at it's feet. Before the guinea pig knew what was happening Twilight lashed out a forked serpentine tongue and wrapped it around the animal's stomach keeping a firm grip. Ashley whined trying to wriggle free. Soon enough Twilight began to morph, the once rounded yellow plastic beak elongated and became hooked, razor like teeth poked out in all different directions along it's mouth. It's LED eyes went from pure white to blazing blood red. It stared out at Ashley and quickly hypnotized her. She hung silent and limp in Twilight's tongue as it began to open it's wicked maw. A white mist began to form and float from Ashley toward twilight's mouth. Within a minute the mist was gone and Ashley was no more than a shriveled husk. Twilight crunched the former animal in it's tongue and let the dust fall onto the bed spread. I stared in horror at the evil bastard knowing full well I should run away but every part of me was glued to my spot unable to look away. Twilight turned toward the door and looked dead at me. Those penetrating red eyes bore right through me to my very core. It cackled and then turned back to my sister as I finally found my ability to move.
I bolted down the stairs to my room and immediately decided I need to do something. As soon as I stopped rocking back and forth in the fetal position while crying, I grabbed my laptop and began looking for any information to stop this...abomination. I searched for hours through dozens of useless sites. The only things that I could manage to find were that 1) People hate Furbies 2) Holy water and the bible are now my best friends and 3) I'm completely and utterly screwed. Just as I was about to give up I managed to find a small site about a retired demonologist. His name was  Robert Trent and he had extensive experience in possession of inanimate objects. With the site came a phone number which I quickly ended up calling. It rang for what seemed like and eternity before a man with a gruff voice picked up.
"Robert Trent. What do you want?"
"Uh..Mr. Trent my name is Nikki Labovitz and I currently am having an issue with a demonic Furby I was..." Before I could finish my claim he cut me off
"Demonic Furby?...Who is this? I will not stand for more jokes about my profession DAMN IT!"
"This is no joke sir I really do have an issue of demonic possession or channeling or something."
"Well go on tell me the issue."
"Well it all started when my sister got a Furby for Christmas. The thing never left her side and within a few days she began to act less like herself. Very withdrawn, antisocial and quiet. I went to check on her and found the Furby speaking to her, demanding blood and souls. It ate my sister's guinea pig...I..I don't know what this thing is." he sighs and starts to speak again.
"It's the 90s all over again. Alright here's what you do. Gather some holy water, a bible, a blessed sacrificial dagger, and it wouldn't hurt to hang a few crosses or keep some rosaries handy. You must catch the demon unaware. Use the rosary beads to restrain it if possible. When you apprehend it use the dagger and stab it through the...well...just stab it anywhere really. If you have trouble catching it use some scripture verses to break down it's defenses. Finally if it comes for you use the holy water it will deter it from touching or coming near you."
"Ah..alright but what if none of that works?"
"Well then I'd say you're shit out of luck kid."
"Err..thanks then I guess"
"No problem. Happy Hunting!" I hung up the phone and continued to sit in the fetal position crying for another oh twenty minutes before I got up and collected the objects Trent said I needed.
Now I didn't have much in the way of money so I had to be resourceful. I traveled to my church and scooped up as much holy water as I could sneak out in some water bottles. I also managed to steal the bread knife they use to cut up the communion shortbread. I figured that would count as my dagger, and it should be "blessed enough". I then visited my catholic friend and borrowed some rosary beads and a crucifix. Once I had all my "weapons" I stashed them in a safe place in my room. I hadn't seen Kailey and Twilight Murder in a while so I assumed I was safe to go about my business. The day finished as usual. I watched some TV, browsed the internet, kept a rosary on my person and some holy water. Kailey stayed up in her room doing whatever the Demon asked and my parents were unaware as always. When night came I began to get anxious knowing that that thing...was so close by and it now knew I knew what it was. I clutched the crucifix and kept a bible and some holy water on my bedside table. Too scared to sleep I tried to stay awake watching late night TV, reading, playing sudoku etc. But eventually my trials failed and I dozed off.
My cable box read 3:15am as I stirred trying to wipe the sleep from my eyes. When I tried to move however I found myself quite immobilized with several jump ropes. I began thrashing within my restraints when my sister appeared from behind my door.
"It's best not to struggle...She doesn't like it when they struggle.." I stared at Kailey incredulously
"Kailey WHAT THE HELL?!?! HELP He....." I'm quickly silenced by a claw to my face. Twilight flapped and sat on my chest licking it's clawed foot.
"Mmm your blood tastes quite nice. Very rich in sin...oh but just a hint of wholesomeness. I'll enjoy you" I began to chant a simple biblical verse getting louder and louder. The thing cackled and slipped another claw over my mouth.
"Silly human I'm immune to your stupid verse, not to mention it takes having faith to actually use it...Kailey stuff her mouth so she can't speak, I'm growing tired of listening to her" Kailey nodded and came over with a pair of my poke a dot socks and proceeded to shove them into my mouth. I mumbled words but it just gained me another slash across the face. I felt the warm blood trickle down my cheek and decided to silence myself. Twilight began pacing back and forth on top of me.
"What to do with you? I could brain wash you like I did your sister...She's useless as a child but you..You're an adult, I could wreak havoc with you...or I could keep you around and enjoy your delicious blood. It's not often I find such a desirable mix. Then of course I could simply suck out your soul and leave you a shriveled husk. My my decisions decisions"  Kailey piped up from the corner
"Master spare her....make her a...a servant like me" Twilight turned around and gave her a death glare.
"Excuse me?!?! Did I tell you to speak? NO" While Twilight chewed out Kailey I began to wriggle free from the jump ropes holding me down. I slid the dagger from under my mattress and crept toward the bird. I quickly lunged and tried stabbing the thing. It dodged my attempts and lashed out with its claws. I screamed to Kailey
"Grab the rosary and the holy water NOW!!" She stood in the corner trying to decide who to help as Twilight piped up.
"Aide her and you both die! I will drag you to hell and have you tortured until the end of time!" She quickly made her decision and grabbed the holy water spraying it onto Twilight. The instant it touched it's purple fur, it ate away at it like acid. Plastic bubbled and melted as twilight writhed on the ground.
"Kailey throw me the beads!" She tossed them and I quickly caught them and began to wrap them around Twilight. It squawked out in a mix of furbish, english and garbled noises.
"This...weejee...is not...cawww OVER!" I locked eyes with the thing as it smiled a fang filled grin. All of a sudden I got dizzy and shrank down to the floor. As soon as I collapsed the light left twilight's eyes and it finally stopped writhing on the floor. All that remained was some mechanical robotic parts with melted purple fur and plastic attached to them. When my head stopped spinning, I tied off the beads tight and stabbed it with the knife. Kailey ran to me and looked down at it.
"Do you think it's dead?" I poked at it with my foot.
"For now..." I replied with a smirk.
So do you still think I'm crazy? Still believe Furbies are just simple toys? It's alright if you think otherwise, it won't matter if you believe me or not in the end. I still get to take your souls either way. Now now don't run or hide... I hate playing with my food.